Lose Yourself

The title is funny, consider NH1 was the Eminem-obssessed teen, not me.


I remember the day I walked back into my house after being in Paris for about a year: I was 150lbs, and looked like my face and my body were swollen. I remember the moment my dad’s confused eyes met mine. “Who was this girl? This is not my daughter. Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?” I’m sure those were the exact thoughts that filled his head.

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I was at my heaviest while living in Paris.

That night, when it was time to have dinner, I reached for the rice. Just as my hand met the spoon, my dads hand met mine: “I don’t think you need any rice,” he told me.

Of course, he was right. For about 3 months, I was attending what I called BARAMI Boot Camp. I went from eating 4 completely buttery Parisian meals a day to eating basically nothing in New York. So, for 3 full months I had no rice, no bread, and no other carbs. For a Persian girl who is pretty used to having rice with all meals, this was rough. Instead though, my dad would make me a beautifully green colored vegetable shake for breakfast, vegetables for lunch, and some salad with chicken for dinner. No dessert.

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Wow, I can still taste the crepes.

Now that I look back at the time spent in Paris, I realized that I lost myself while being there. The moment I arrived to Paris I was, from then on, a different person. I had no rules, I ate whatever I wanted, and I did whatever I wanted. I guess I tried to fill a void with food.

After my 3 months in BARAMI Boot Camp, I got on the scale and felt such a sense of relief! 126 LBS! That night, just as my hand met the spoon for the rice, I looked up at dad and he said absolutely nothing.

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Bisous a Paris!

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