“Mask Off” -Future

For the last few years, I’ve been sort of obsessed with eyelash extensions. You know, those individual lashes that you let some lady with tweezers glue on, one by one, to your eyes as you lay horizontal, with your eyes taped shut. The only problem? They require so much upkeep, that I literally do not have the time for them. What ends up happening is as my own lashes fall, the extensions fall too, which is normal. Then I’m left with my own sad lashes, and a few left over extensions. I’m left looking crazy.
The first time I tried to remove my own lashes was horrifying. I took tweezers to my eyelashes. I literally plucked out my own lashes because they were glued to the fake ones. After realizing I had almost no lashes left, I had to fix my mistake. I resorted to some serums (Ardell Lash and Brow Serum and Suvi Naturals Lash and Eyebrow Serum) to help me grow them back. I guess it worked; I’m not sure if it was actually the serum, or just the time I spent waiting for them to grow back, that had me feeling optimistic.

After some google searching, I also learned that Vaseline worked for some of the top models in the 70’s and 80’s. This probably worked the best for me, plus it was really good for moisturizing under the eyes. I don’t really know if all of these things were ultimately part of some placebo effect, or if I genuinely believe I have my lashes back.

Moral of the story: stick to strip lashes, they’re way less maintenance. 

I guess that would also sort of make me a hypocrite, because I can’t say with hundred percent confidence that I’d never do them again. In fact, I could probably promise that I would. I say I won’t all the time, then I see those amazing lashes on someone else, and I’m immediately reminded about how amazing I felt when I had them. They’re the epitome of Beyoncé’s lyrics, “I woke up like this.”

So, the cycle repeats itself.

I also, according to my mother, host an entire CVS in my bathroom. I’m not sure what she means (she’s totally right). Just like Neda and Nika, I love products. The difference is, I’m a lot more routine with my skin care regimen than they are. I wash my face twice a day, religiously. I moisturize legitimately any time there is moisturizer around me. I don’t necessarily go for the pricier items, though I’ll splurge if I’m sure of a product. CVS has everything I need at a reasonable cost; dad taught us never to waste. I have a variety of face masks that I’ve bought from both Sephora and CVS. My technique to picking them is as follows: no technique. It goes more like, “Oh that one peels off? SICK. Oh that one exfoliates as you shower it off? PERFECT,” and so on, and so forth. I never got into that ‘bubbly mask’ fad, I’m not interested in looking like a cloud- whatever, not for me.

Just as an FYI: I take care of my skin, but I can’t deny my love for sitting in the sun. What can I say? I like to stay golden (pony boy). Anyone who tells you they don’t love being tan is lying. I’ve started using Dr. Dennis Gross tanning wipes, or my mothers overnight tanning drops (I’ll have to get back to you on that product), because well, laser hair removal. Honestly, there’s nothing like the feeling of laying in the sun and getting that au natural tan. So fine, maybe I’ll wrinkle a little prematurely, but I think I have a cream for that somewhere in my bathroom- I probably got it from CVS.

There you have it. My two most vein obsessions in one lengthy post.


Screen Shot 2017-11-27 at 5.26.28 PM
A still from a video; I was a like a butterfly with big wings, ready to use my lashes to fly.

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